Vannology

Thank you for the love.

Thank you for loving me the way you did, thank you for loving me properly. Thank you for showing me what to expect from my other half. Thank you for the teaching of a supportive partner. Thank you for the forehead kisses. Thank you for the chin nibbles. Thank you for kissing my scars. Thank you for listening to my cries. Thank you for showing me your safe zone. Thank you for believing in all the impossible ideas I introduced. Thank you for understanding my trauma. Thank you for accepting me, knowing we might not have a chance to have our own children.

But I would never want to fall in love again.

I will never want to give anything to anyone. No effort, no time.

Congratulations on being the last person. Congratulations on being the last straw. Congratulations for beating all chances of a marriage in my life. Congratulations for setting the bar high. Super high. Congratulations on your achievement, on your blueprint.

But I will never want to fall in love again.

I will never allow myself to lose.

You’re welcome for the great memories I gave you. You’re welcome for your nastiest experiences. You’re welcome for the time I handed to you. You’re welcome for being priority. You’re welcome for being second in my life, when my circle was finally becoming its most solidify. You’re welcome for teaching you the proper way to be treated. You’re welcome for unlearning your very own traumas. You will never find another me; no one will ever give you half of what I did. Ever.

Peace is what I found within, after jars of tears and deception. Peace is what I received when I loved myself the way you did. Peace is what you taught me, and what I will carry. Peace within is what I was craving. And I finally found it…

so, peace.

Alexa, play GONE, GONE // THANK YOU by Tyler, The Creator.